Being a woman who loves BF3 means....part 3

Now I really like the social aspect of online gaming, and I've met a lot of really fun and interesting people while playing BF3. Playing by oneself is just not as fun as going together. I've also run into some annoying idiots and assholes, as have we all. But when you are a woman there is a extra dimension to the annoyance, and I will try to list what annoys me the most right now,  and why.

1. "You are so beautiful, girls who game are sooo hot!"
I don't remember asking for your opinion of my fuckability, so don't share. You probably mean well (and now I'm probably giving you way more credit than you deserve), but think about it, please. Women spend their entire lives being constantly graded for their looks and are expected at all times to serve as decor. I'm here to play a game, let me have my time off.


2. "It's so nice to see a girl who takes gaming seriously, there are so many fake attention whore girl posers acting like they are all special because they play cod"
Yeah, we're doing this for you. It's all for you. Without male approval, we wither and die. I am so thankful that you, Random Boy Gamer, are willing to bestow upon me my Gamer Certificate. And your willingness to stereotype and bash other female players is very comforting to me and makes me feel special.

3. "Are you really a girl?"
No, I can assure you I am not. Haven't been one since I lost the pigtails, grew boobs and got a job. Are you really a boy?

4. "Make me a sandwich! Haha I'm just kidding."
No you are not. You are a tiresome coward who wants to have an outlet for your misogyny and get away with it, and you can not possibly offer anything of interest in a social setting, seeing that you can't even try to be creative or show some backbone when you are insulting people.

All you guys from 1-4: you are annoying me and I know can't get rid of you. I just have to wait until you learn to behave, or until you die out and leave only the more evolved specimens here. Problem is I'm not a patient woman, as my sniping stats will clearly tell you, and you are incredibly slow to learn. I have hope though.

Being a woman who loves Battlefield means... part 2

1. Getting stalked and followed from server to server by weird people whom I have never talked to.
2. Being asked my bra size when informing my squad that the enemy is holed up behind the shed by the B-flag on Damavand peak.

This is what I do not love about you, Battlefield.

Being a woman who loves BF3 means...

...getting a squad mate who runs across the whole map to throw himself into the crossfire at the Grand Bazaar alleyway to "protect" you. As if  your assault avatar was somehow more vulnerable and weak than the others - and even though you currently outscore him by 2000 points and 8 kills. (Dude, you are blocking my view! And what the hell were you doing on the other side of the map earlier, anyway?)

Then you will hear that same person calling everyone bitches and pussies and whores, as if being labelled as "female" is the worst thing you could do to someone.

Sigh.

Now, if you are using "whore" as an insult and offer to "rape" people, I will assume you hate women. I'm sorry, but I have learned it is better to err on the side of caution in these matters. And here's a tip: If you happen to find a lady in your team, try to remember that this game does not offer points for medieval behaviour, which you can later trade in for boobs IRL. And if you happen to come across a woman in the opposite team, just behave like a normal person and gun her down.